whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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