I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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