All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
