I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
