Little spoons don't ask big questions
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
