About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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