Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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