Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i love accidental penises.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's never too late to be topless.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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