he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
