everyone is single if you try hard enough
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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