ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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