Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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