i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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