every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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