I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
