ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it's like iHOP with fire
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
