She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Come on in and take your pants off
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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