man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
