My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
