My room smells like vodka and shame
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
