dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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