I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
