I wannas sexs uuuuu
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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