OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
