he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
