its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
