New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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