His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
