i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
