Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
