Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
