whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Shame is for Republicans.
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