Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
