I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
