I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
