I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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