this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Someone signed my nipple.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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