Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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