So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love having hate sex.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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