New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
