I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
