I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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