I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
