Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
