if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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