I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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