Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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