I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
