College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
