Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
