Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
