So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
