come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
