rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
