...so i touched it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
