It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
