She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
